What happens when a group of men talk openly about the difference between having sex and making love? In one recent discussion, what arose was the stark difference between the experience of having sex and of making love, and what that means to us as men. The men in question were able to discern the difference between the two experiences and each man was at their own unique stage of the path towards making love rather than having sex, discarding sexual energy and allowing for a deeper connection to form in their lovemaking. What was shared was very special — that each man felt drawn towards making life about love. Society does not confirm the love we are, and thus the love we could be making. The pornification and objectification of women means that to be making love our daily living is against the grain of what is imposed upon all men everywhere we look.
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Men, sex and relationships: A therapist shares surprising truths about desire
As a psychotherapist who specializes in emotions, and as a woman with my own personal history of serial monogamy, I have come to realize that some men channel their need for love, intimacy, soothing, care, and comfort into sexual desire. Dylan wants sex when he feels sad because he likes the comfort the physical holding provides. Dylan, like most people, wants to be held when he is sad. In fact, the need to be held when we feel sad is biologically programmed into our brains. He believes it is weak to let someone know that he feels lonely and wants company.
Hi, yes, your daily PSA: Stop catering to men's needs as if yours don't matter. Especially in the bedroom. As women channeling major Lizzo energy, it's just as important to seek your own pleasure as it is your partners. We good?